Confessions of a Blogger || On Insecurities, Pet Peeves & Being an Introvert

I found this.. well, it’s not really a tag.. something. I found a something over on Nyxies Nook. I don’t recall having written such a personal blog post before. Hopefully you won’t be bored with it *insert appropriately long and eloquent introduction* And so, without further ado…

1. Do you have any nicknames?

When I was younger my friends called me Nille and I suppose Nily, as I’m most frequently called now, is simply an anglification of that.

2. Have you ever cried from watching a TV show or a movie?

Only 9/10 times! I wear my heart on my sleeve so I’m always very emotional which is sometimes very annoying and inconvenient.

3. What would you do with one hundred million pounds?

Oh wow! Let me see, £100.000.000 is over DDK 800.000.000. That’s a lot! Okay:

• I would buy myself a house and get my fiancé to Denmark. I’d probably throw in a car as well.
• I would take my family and friends on long vacations to wherever they wanted to go.
• I would set up a charity fond to support different cheritable causes, and make the first donation. A big one!
• I would support scientists who are working on cures for e.g. cancer AND solutions on climate change.

4. If you could have someone else’s life for one day, who would it be and why?

That’s a good question. I don’t have a specific person in mind but I would like to know what it feels like when your life just… works. When you’ve been able to get an education, get a stabile job right away, find your partner at a decent age and be able to buy a house and have kids before you turn 30. Basically everything I dreamed of when I was 18, and my siblings have had. Just to see what it feels like when life doesn’t constantly tries to screw you over. 

5. How many romantic partners do you think you will end up having between now and the end of your life?

I said yes to marrying Mr English because I want to grow old with him so in a perfect world that’s what will happen. However in reality you never know what might happen in 20 years. My parents got divorced after almost 25 years of marriage so.. you just never know.

6. What kind of parent are you, or think you will be?

I think I will be a bit strict but fair. My greatest advantage is that I have seen my siblings bring up 5 kids in total, and I know which of their parental tools I want to adopt. My kids will probably get tired of me since I’m a physiotherapist who don’t believe young kids should have tablets or smartphones. I suppose my mom was a bit old-fashioned in my upbringing and that, of course, has coloured my principals. What I will do is to be present, encourage curiosity, and otherwise just love them as much as possible while allowing them to discover who they are on their own.

7. What is something you’ve never told anyone?

No-one outside of my family know this but I was bedwetter as a kid. It’s a very shameful subject, perhaps less so for people who never were bedwetters themselevs, but for me it was connected to a lot of shame, and still is to er certain degree (which is a bit weird considering I would never judge another person who went through this phase themselves). So there you have it.

8. What do you do when you are alone, and no one is watching you?

Uhm.. I might bingewatch an entire series. I don’t really do that when I’m with others. And if it’s that time of year where nutella’s in the house – yes, I only eat 1 jar of nutella a year and here’s why: – I will eat nothing but bread and nutella that day. Breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner. Nutella! It’s probably what I’m most addicted to. If it’s not in the house I don’t crave it, but if it’s here I will eat it all. Now that I think about it that might count as my guilty pleasure as well.

9. Are you living a meaningful life?

Not as meaningful as I would like. Some of it is my own fault. I have a way of placing myself in a waiting position. For example, I currently work on finding a job all the while I wait for the day where Mr English can be imported to the country. So it’s more of a mental waiting position than a physical one. Nonetheless my therapist from back when I had my depression said that I should try and focus my mental energy on something else. The trouble is that that is much harder to do than it sounds.

10. What are three things you can’t live without?

My amazing fiancé, open spaces and feeling safe.

11. What or who inspires you the most?

I’ve pondered that question now for a good long while (sorry if you thougth this post was all written on the same day) but I simply cannot some up with a satisfying answer. The truth is that all sorts for things inspire me, both with writing blog posts and in general.

12. What makes you feel most empowered?

When I manage to figure out of make something. When I succeed I feel empowered. It doesn’t have to be much, putting together Ikea furniture will do it, but it makes me feel like I achieved something.

13. Do you live to work or work to live?

I definitely work to live. I am not a career driven person. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a physiotherapist, but I also like coming home to relax. I think I need a healthy balance between work and private life. I could never be a stay-at-home mom either, I’d miss making a difference in other people’s lives – which is an indescribable feeling! In an ideal world I would have a 25-30 hour job, and then come home and be with my family.

14. Do you trust anyone with your life?

I trust both my fiancé and my mom with my life. Absolutely!

15. Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

Oh, introvert all the way! I’m both a highly sensitive person and an introvert; wow, I really hit the jackpot *sigh* At least I haven’t found lockdown too different from my normal life which, oddly enough, have been a huge advantage!

16. How would your perfect partner treat you?

I’m happy to say that I found him already. We treat each other with respect and he is perhaps the person I trust the most out of everyone I know. My emotionally abusive ex had a talent for not saying a word and then suddenly exploding with anger, so it was crucial to me that Mr English was not like that. We seem to resolve issues with logic, understanding and open communication, and he is kind enough to be patient with the bundle of emotion that is me. Most importantly he never shouts at me which I appreciate more than he will ever know. 

17. How do you relax and re-charge?

With peace and quiet. I don’t need to be alone necessarily but the only people I can recharge around is the ones I live with. As it is right now I can only recharge around Mr English (even though he doesn’t live with me yet).

Recharging usually involve watching something, writing, reading or perhaps roaming around social media.

18. What is something you’d like to do or achieve before you die?

Well, I would like to have a family, but other than that I don’t know. I don’t know if you have experinced this but when I was younger I always had dreams and goals but when you achieve them then what? Then you’re supposed to find new dreams and goals, and besides becoming a mother and having a family I don’t actually know.. Do new goals and dreams magically emerge with time, or…?

19. What offends you?

Intolerance that hurts other people such as racism and misogyni. Also people who choose to stay stupid. In theory it has nothing to do with me but in reality it does because these people have the right to vote, and to influence so when they choose to live in a bubble it can hurt not only other people but the country they live in as a whole. And in the age of the internet there is no excuse to not know something, and if you don’t then be willing to find out, learn and grow.

20. Have you ever been a smoker?

No, never. Smoking has never appealed to me. I tried smoking an entire cigarette once but that was that.

21. What kind of drunk are you?

I usually want to dance around and sing my lungs out. If the situation requires it I will also be the mom of the group.

22. What are your biggest pet peeves?

Oh I have many, haha! I get annoyed so very easily it’s ridiculous. However, one of my biggest pet peeves is that certain family members think that it is okay to say rude things to me that they normally would never say to anyone else. That and someone trying to pressure me to do things I don’t want to do, or phrase things a certain way so that it make me sound rude when I have to decline.

23. What is something you hate about yourself?

I hate the fact that I get motion sick no matter how I travel, and that I suffer from ligyrophobia.

24. What do you love about yourself?

I love that I’m generally open and accepting, and I love my continuing thirst for knowlegde and to constantly educate myself on varies topics. Funnily enough I also like my sensitivity. I used to see it as a burden when I was a child and a teen, but as an adult I can see the positive in the fact that I am unable to conceal my emotions, and my inability to shut up if something is bothering me. It means that I am transparent and that people don’t have to guess my feelings and intentions. In my relationship this inability is gold because it furthers communication and understanding.

25. What are your biggest insecurities?

That I am not intelligent enough, and if we talk physical insecurities: I’ve always hated my nose and my legs.

26. In another life, what would you want to be?

I don’t know.

27. Could you live without the internet?

Technically yes. It’s not like we are all going to die without it, however it is an amazing tool that connects you with the entire world. I wouldn’t die but I would miss it. Miss my friends and being able to see my fiancé.

28. Do you have any tattoo’s or piercings? What do you have?

No tattoos. I used to have 7 piercings but two of them have closed up. So now I only have 5, all in my ears.

29. Do you wish you could change your past?

I don’t wish to change anything in the sense that I have learned huge life lessons from each and every one. But I woulnd’t mind changing the duration of some of them, just so I woulnd’t feel like I wasted such a long time on a failed project.

30. What is your guilty pleasure?

I refer back to question 8.

31. What are you afraid of?

Many things! My fears are weird because a lot of them never evolved from child-fears to adult-fears. I don’t fear losing someone I love. I’m an enigma who is afraid of dinosaurs even though they haven’t existed for millions of years, I’m afraid of ghosts even though I don’t believe in them. But mostly, I am afraid of what images my own mind can conjure and use against me. That’s why I don’t watch horror films. My brain will store the images forever and throw them in my face unexspectedly. My brain can be a dick!

32. If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?

I would make sure that Mr English and I had met while living in the same country. Then, we could have lived together by now, planning our wedding and saving money to start a family.

33. Would you consider yourself happy?

Happiness is a fleeting feeling, no-one is happy all the time and I don’t think it would be healthy either. I do have moments where I feel completely happy. It happens most often when I’m with my fiancé but I can feel moments of happiness while being alone as well.

34. Tell us about your first kiss.

I don’t remember my first kiss. At all actually which is weird because I remember an awful lot from my childhood.

35. Tell us about your first time.

I believed I touched on the subject in the blog post 10 Things No-One Tells You About Having Sex for the First Time.

36. Tell us about your first crush.

I don’t remember my first crush either, haha.

37. Tell us about your first celebrity crush.

I could easily be mistaken but I think my first celebrity crush was Orlando Bloom. Not sure it counts because I’ve had stronger celebrity crushes later on in life, but I do believe I found him mighty cute. Still do, actually, even though it’s not in the same way anymore.

38. Tell us about your first date.

For me dating culture is American – like in the films with odd rules etc. I do think some people date in Denmark but it’s not the same. I had dates with boyfriends but I’m not sure that’s the same. For me it’s just going out to dinner and a film. Not a date, so I don’t know.

39. Tell us about your first relationship.

My first real relationship was with Mr Umbridge and as the name imply it didn’t end well. We were together for nearly 6 years (5 years and 9 months) until I ended it. 1 year and 4-5 months later I met Mr English.

40. Your last relationship: good or bad?

I’m going to interpret my “last relationship” as my current. And that is neither good nor bad. It is AMAZING! One of the best things that ever happened to me!

41. Your last email?

Was to request an update on an order.

42. The last song you listened to?

43. The last thing you watched on Netflix?

Sweet Magnolias. It’s actually an easy feel-god series, but not as good as the one I watched before that: Unorthodox. Now THAT is a must-watch!

44. The last time you cried?

Pfft, I cry all the time. I’m a highly sensitive person with my emotions on my sleeve. So yeah, I cry a lot. Last time I cried must have been because of a film or something, I’m sure of it.

45. The last blog you read?

Was one about Pinterest stories which is a new feature on Pinterest. One that is not yet available in Denmark *disappointed sigh*

46. Have you ever gotten back with an ex?

I guess technically but both times we were only together for 4 months so I’m not sure it counts. And if it doesn’t then no, I haven’t. I simply haven’t had enough boyfriends.

47. Have you ever been cheated on?

Not that I know of.

48. Have you ever cheated on someone?

No, and I never will. It’s one of my core principles. It would not only betray my partner but also myself, and who I stand for.

49. Have you ever met someone who changed you?

Uhm, changed my outlook on things. Not changed my personality. The most important lesson being with my abusive ex taught me is that love is great but if there’s no trust or respect in a relationship love will never be enough. Trust and respect are the foundation, love is the cherry on top.

50. Have you ever kissed someone you wish you hadn’t?

Yes, many times. But only after I discovered what a horrible kisser they were! A surpring number of people do not know how to kiss! How did that happen?

51. Have you ever had your heart broken?

Only a gazillion times. Again by my emotionally abusive ex who played sadistic games with my heart. You can read more about it here.

52. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes, once (see question 39).

53. Have you ever kissed someone on the first date?

Again, not been on dates, but yes. I tend to move to the physical part quickly to find out if we are compatible or not. Physical compatibility is very important and should not be underestimated.

54. Have you ever had sex with someone on the first date?

Yes, same reason as above. And no, I never regretted it.

55. Do you believe in God?

No, not in any God. I am an agnostic atheist which means that I don’t believe a deity exists but I also recognise that we simply don’t know. However, as Carl Sagan said: “extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence” and thus far I have seen none that suggests that any kind of deity exists (and no, the Bible does not count).

56. Do you believe in yourself?

Sometimes, depending on my mental state.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

No, I don’t. It would mean that I believed in some sort of afterlife which I don’t.

58. Do you believe in aliens?

Seen through cosmic goggles we are all aliens. With how vast cosmos is it would be extremely arrogant to assume that we are the only living thing out there.

59. Do you believe in fate?

No, I don’t. Science has shown us the amazing ability humans have of pattern recognision. So good, in fact, that we find patterns even when there are none. That’s what “fate” is. That’s all.

60. Do you believe in the law of attraction?

Okay, I have no idea what this is: Google to the rescue! So, “the Law of Attraction is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.” Well, there’s no scientific evidence that supports it so it sounds like pseudoscience to me, so my answer is no. I do not believe in the law of attraction.

61. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, I don’t. However I do believe in physical attraction at first sight. Love occurs when you know a person, and you cannot know them if you’ve only just seen them. It’s as simple as that. 

62. Do you believe in true love?

Again, no, but I know that some people are more compatible than others. If your compatibility is high it can certainly feel like true love because you share a lot of values. But any relationship requires hard work, and you can definitely be compatible with more than one person so…

63. Do you believe in gender equality?

I’m a feminist so that’s a hard yes. I’m big on human rights in general.

64. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?

As I mentioned above I’m big on human rights. Choice and autonomy over your own body is a human right, full stop. On a side-note: many who claim to be pro-life are actually pro-birth. They tend to not care what happens to that child once it’s born. An example could be the US. If you live in the US and you are pro-life you should logically also be anti-guns, pro universal healthcare, pro social support and other things like that. Things that would actually better the life of citizens, and thereby also children living in the country. However most pro-life people I’ve met have been very conservative and the hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance is astounding.

65. Do you believe in heaven/that there is peace after life?

I don’t believe in an afterlife, no, but it is a fact that there is peace after life. That’s what death is. It’s living that’s hard.

66. What makes you angry about your country?

The naïvity of politicians can be annoying but it’s a sideproduct of living in a very peaceful country. That and the fact that some people don’t know how good they actually have it here. Another thing that makes me angry are the immigration policies that have been made during the last 8 years because it sends the signal that Danes don’t like other people, but I can tell you that that’s not true. Racist Danes are not the majority. They just shout the loudest. You heard it here first!

67. What is your opinion on ‘Love is Love’?

People are free to love whoever they want as long as it is legal. By that I mean: I don’t condone paedophilia. Other than that I could not care less.

68. What is your opinion on haters/trolls?

I don’t get why people do it. Having critisism and wanting to dicuss it is one thing, but hating just for the sake of hating is a waste of time, and makes me assume that the troll/hater is a bad human being.

69. What are some challenges you think the next generation will have to face?

Climate change for sure! That’s probably the biggest global threat we have right now. Human rights issues are a given.

70. What type of blogger are you in 3 words?

Curious, transparent and authentic.

71. What do you love about the blogging world/community?

The willingness to help and inspire. Certain Facebook groups have been especially heart warming.

72. What do you hate about the blogging world/community?

Hate is a very strong word. I find it annoying when some people refuse to do things a different way even though it would be more effective and respectful towards other people’s work.

In regards to new bloggers: it is a pet peeve of mine when new bloggers reply to my blog post promotions with their own blog post links. That needs to be stopped. It’s rude!

73. What challenges and negativity do bloggers face?

Uhm, don’t know. I’m not a professional blogger and I’m not aware of any negative things of that magnitude so…

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Phew! That was a lot of questions! If you managed to read all the way to the end: thank you so much! I hope it means you weren’t bored *fingers crossed* If you want you can hover over the pin down below and click the Pinterest save button to share or save the post. Stay safe.

Cheers!

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